


One Night Hate Fuck

by lordjenjen



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, idk what i am doing anymore, if you make it to the end I'm sorry, it's like the whole reason I wrote this, was just for a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 10:51:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15141488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Stan won't pass up this golden opportunity to dominate Craig and his stupid fucking face.





	One Night Hate Fuck

 

Stan pushed Craig against his apartment door, an obvious power move in his part. He was bound to top this stupid tall man with his stupid handsome face and his stupid good body and his stupidly proportional hands. He could have sworn they were some kind if giant meaty man claws, but that could have been one of the many drawings from years past that still haunted him.

Stan's need to dominate Craig had nothing to do with a drawing from high school that showed him as some tiny girly boy and Craig as some large, muscly, no neck, giant, towering over his petite frame. Nothing at all.

Craig rubbed Stan's hardening dick through his jeans, obviously trying to get the upper hand on him. Stan retaliated by wedging his knee between Craig's longer, skinnier ones, causing him to straddle Stan's thigh. Craig deepened their kissing, running his fingers through Stan’s hair and pulling his head as if they could get any closer.

“Do you fucking mind?”

Stan reluctantly pulled out of the kiss to glare at the intruder. Craig's was obviously not a quitter. He began drunkenly kissing Stan's neck, still pulling Stan's hair to get him to move how he wanted.

“Fuck off Cartman.” Stan growled. So what if they were in the hallway about to rip off each other's clothing, he needed to stay dominant. “Just because you can't get laid-”

“That's my fucking door, queerno!”

Stan looked up at the apartment number on the door. Sure as shit, it was the wrong apartment.

“And? It's not like you fuck in there.”

Craig broke away from Stan, “Fine, your door doesn't deserve such wonderful treatment anyways.”

Stan pulled Craig a few doors down, squinting at the numbers making sure that was actually a 7 and not a 1, before opening the door. Craig didn't wait for an invite. He waltzed in like he owned the place, grabbing Stan by the front of his shirt and pulling him in. Their mouths collided in the worst way, but Stan didn't care. He was drunk, horny, and needed to top Craig.

He pulled at Craig's shirt, trying to strip it off the man without removing his mouth. Stan no as the shirt got caught somewhere. He tore his mouth away and pulled angrily at the offense blue material with it's stupid NASA logo. He threw the shirt and quickly pulled off his own, discarding it in much of the same manner. Hands were back on his pants, this time pulling him to the bedroom as they worked on unbuttoning them. Stan drunkenly kicked off his shoes in time for his pants to hit the ground. He tripped, falling into Craig and pinning him against the wall

Their lips collided in a sloppy drunk kiss. Stan worked his magic on Craig's skinny jeans, unbuttoning them and pushing them down a bit with expertise only gained from years of dating Wendy. He grabbed Craig by his cloth covered ass, trying to get their erections to meet. The height difference between them, working against him. He hated it.

Stan pulled Craig off the wall and maneuvered him the extra three feet to the bedroom door. He pushed Craig onto the bed, ungracefully pulling off his shoes and pants. Stan patted Craig's legs, a universal signal to move onto the bed more. When the man didn't move, he patted his leg again. Craig looked confusingly at Stan, but rolled over onto his hands and knees. Even with the ugly ass green and blue plaid boxers, Craig's ass looked delicious. But he was still too close to the edge, and Stan wanted to fuck that as more now.

“For fucks sake, move farther onto the bed.”

“Just have to ask.” Craig finally complied, and planted his face into Stan's pillows.

Stan gracefully accepted Craig's obvious alpha submission by slapping the round cheeks as he moved to grab lube and condoms out of his nightstand. Craig let out a muffled at the action and began rubbing his dick through the thin fabric.

Stan threw the supplies on the bed before removing his remaining clothes and crawling on the bed behind the gorgeous ass. Slowly he pulled down the horrendous boxers, revealing the untanned flesh that was Craig's ass. He squeezed the mounds, spreading them to reveal Craig's glowing asshole. Stan blinked a few times, trying to stave off the drunken hallucinations. With Craig's ass no longer glowing, Stan spread lube on his fingers. He was surprised how easily Craig's ass took one finger. He and Wendy always seemed to have the hardest time getting a finger into him, but Craig took it like a champ. Stand was mesmerized by Craig's ass as it took his second finger.

“Stan, fuck me already.”

He was pretty sure he hadn't been finger fucking Craig that long, yet here the man was, tugging on his dick, begging to be fucked. Stan was going to fuck him alright. He was going to give Craig the best fuck of his gay life!

Stan eagerly ripped open the package and rolled the rubber on. He rubbed his dick against Craig's hole a bit before slowly sinking into it. He knew it was just the alcohol, but as his dick entered Craig's delicious ass, he wanted to marry it. Just this warm, tight hole squeezing his dick perfectly. The rest of the man attached to it was a burden, he just wanted the hole.

As Stan began to fuck Craig, he noticed the man’s ass got lower and lower, as if the effort to keep his ass in a fuckable position wasn't possible. Stan gritted his teeth and smacked Craig's ass, hoping to get his point, “stop it asshole,” across without words. This had the opposite effect as Craig completely collapsed on the bed.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Craig.”

“You did this. Why are you yelling at me?”

“I did not. Just roll over.”

Craig rolled over, lazy grin plastered on his face. Stan felt like he was just played, like Craig wanted to be fucked like this. Sure, it was his favorite position, looking into your partner's eyes as your brought them the most pleasure their body could handle, but somehow he still felt played. Craig's legs suddenly seemed longer as Stan moved them closer to Craig's body. Impossibly long. He entered Craig again, this time able to see the pleasure on his face. Stan hated it. No one should look that hot during sex.

He fucked Craig hard, trying to get him to make a stupid face. Craig wrapped his legs around Stan, causing him to change angles a bit. Once in arms reach, Craig pulled him down into a kiss. Any other time, Stan would have found the amount of tongue gross, but for some reason, drunk and fucking Craig, it was hot. He felt Craig grab his own dick, and stroke it as Stan continued to pound his ass.

Craig moaned as he came, spreading his jizz on both their torsos. Stan continued to fuck Craig, doing his best to get off. The stupid, lazy, beautiful, post-orgasm face Craig was making just seemed to irritate Stan. But he could feel himself getting close. His orgasm hit him hard, filling the condom.

Exhausted and still drunk, Stan collapsed on top of Craig. When a light snore began to fill the room, he rolled off the man. And with the last if his energy, he pulled off the condom, hoping it made it near the trash at least, before sleep took him in for the night.

***

Craig laid perfectly still. He knew this wasn't his bed. He paid for some stupid galaxy sheets that itched like crazy but were so cool. These were soft, pleasant sheets covering a soft, pleasant mattress with soft pleasant pillows. Even his ass ached pleasantly.

He laid there trying to recall the previous night's events, other than his ass being fucked. There had been a get together. Alcohol was involved. Stan Darsh. That's what happened. A stupid fucking Stan Marsh and his stupid fucking attitude.

The smell of food drifted to Craig's nose. His stomach growling got him out of bed. He briefly looked for his clothes but they seemed to be lost. Instead he strolled out of the room, naked as can be, and made his way to the kitchen. It was a little odd seeing Stan wearing nothing but underwear and a frilly apron, but he admired it for a moment, wondering if he could talk Stan into riding his dick. Craig was a lazy gay and knew it. The less he had to perform during sex, the better in most occasions. It's why he mostly bottomed.

“Whatcha cooking? And are you making enough for me?”

“Eggs. And as long as you want them scrambled.”

Craig was taken back. “Eggs?” He asked completely confused. “Like real eggs?”

“Yep.”

“Eggs aren't vegan, Stan.” If there was one thing everyone knew about Stan was that he was an vegan. It was like the _only_ thing Craig knew about the man beside how much he hated him.

Stan looked confusingly at Craig. “I'm not vegan,  _ Craig. _ I'm queer.”

Craig narrowed his eyes at Stan. He hated his stupid face and his stupid joke. And just for it, he was going to fuck Stan into oblivion.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah that's right. I wrote an entire porn to make a joke a friend said in discord. That's me. Fucking writing things for s stupid joke!
> 
> That and Stan just really needs to fuck Craig out if his system.


End file.
